I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
