Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
