He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
