He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
