nut hugger
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
