what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
