Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
As shirtless as possible
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
