Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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