Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
