I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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