I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
God, I missed his penis.
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