Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
