actually, I'm a sock model
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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