Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
