how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sorry about my life...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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