Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
