is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
