Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
