forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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