New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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