She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
