yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
