This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
