im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dignity is for republicans.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
