Those balls look pretty dangerous.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
