Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
