i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
