plz talk dirty to me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
