there was a trapeze. enough said
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
