can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
