You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
