so that wasnt chicken after all
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
