At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
A bitchslap is in order.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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