I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
