She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
