her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
