I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
