I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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