she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
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