The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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