i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
