What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
