I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
