I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
