I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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