Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
