I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's never too late to be topless.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
