If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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