If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
