I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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