I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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