In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
