I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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