The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
