why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
