My underwear smells like fireworks.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize