Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
