Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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