BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
