God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
