YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
