the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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