Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
