so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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