I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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