Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
